direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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