My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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