Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
