y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
