I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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