I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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