i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
