I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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