Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
