dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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