do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize