i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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