i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
