I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
