yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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