So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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