We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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