Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
