I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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