Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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