Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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