there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
