So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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