You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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