Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
