Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
