Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
