TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
