when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize