my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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