So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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