i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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