well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Enjoy the penises
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
