So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
