This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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