I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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