you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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