I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
