I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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