we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
