u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you win again, gameday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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