if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
