it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
