Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
