I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
