I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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