What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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