Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
