I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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