Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need moral support for this bender
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
