Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
