After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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