that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
