the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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