Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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