my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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