that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
