And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to fling myself into the sun
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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