Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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