Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
