I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
