After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
