My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
