Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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